What holds you back from being free to live your life to the fullest? Are there things you’ve always wanted to do but remain undone? Have you always wanted to:
- start your own business?
- jump from an airplane?
- write a book?
- go to Africa and construct roofs for churches?
- bike across America?
- hike the Appalachian Trail?
- take yodeling lessons?
- tutor kids with dyslexia how to read?
- get a tattoo?
So why haven’t you? What holds you back? Lack of money is often the answer. But all too often what’s holding you back is the fear of what others think.
Seeking and heeding the wisdom of others is important. You need input from others. But please don’t allow people with no dreams and a narrow judgmental focus keep you from living your life.
If the worry of what others think holds you back then you are not free. You are a prisoner being held hostage by the opinions of others.
Janis Joplin nailed it when she belted these words out while singing “Me and Bobby McGee:”
Are you worried people are watching you waiting to pronounce condemnation? Do you feel people are judging everything you do? Is it important for you to please your critics?
Too many people aren’t free because they still have something to lose. And most often what they cling to is their reputation. If you continue to worry about what other people think you will never be free.
Authenticity is a hot buzz word today. We marvel when people are authentic. This marveling is a signal that authenticity is a rare commodity. Why is it in short supply? Because we are too worried about what people think. We cannot be ourselves. “What will people think?’ is a question which often drives the decisions we make.
When entering the post-career years it’s important for you to become free of worrying about what others think. You will need all the energy you can muster to reinvent your life for the next phase. Don’t waste your energy trying to please the judgmental critics.
One of the ReFIRE principles focuses on the word “free.” To make the rest of life the best you need to become free. Become free of the worry about what someone else thinks. This is your life. Make it count.
When I turned 50 I did the unthinkable. Like some other Baby Boomers I got a tattoo. For most people this is not a big deal but I grew up in a church culture where getting a tattoo meant riding the fast track to hell. (If you are reading this and want to debate Leviticus 19:28 we can talk about it if you also take seriously the preceding verse which forbids getting a hair cut.)
Why did I do it? It was personal. At that point in my life I faced a difficult situation. My confidence and courage sagged. I wanted to fold my tent and go home. But a verse of Scripture caught my attention. It spoke about God as the source of courage and it became my life verse. So I had part of the verse tattooed on my upper arm. Every day since then I see it and I’m reminded God is with me. It is a tool to give me the courage I need.
Getting my own tattoo, which bolstered my courage, would never have happened if I worried about what people think.
This is the kind of mindset you need as you face the end of your established career. When you begin to dream about what life holds next, forget about what people think. When they hear your dreams too many will tell you not to do it. They will relish the role of being dream-killers. They want you to be like them: someone who slides into old age with a dark cloud overhead.
Don’t do it. Make the decision to be free from worrying about what others think. (If you need a plan HERE’S a great article which gives you 4 steps on how to do it.) . This is the time to be smart. This is not the time to listen to the off-key melody of the boo birds.
Do you need permission to be free? Okay. Here it comes:
I, Randall Hartman, hereby give you permission to be free from what others are thinking. I give you permission to move forward and live your life.
Dream. Do. Make it happen.
Hmmmm….
Good thoughts, nicely said.
My good ol’ friend, the WPT’s! (What People Think). You mention that it’s being concerned about the opinions of others. Sometimes I think it goes even further, it’s our imagining what others must be thinking. And, yah, I also believe that the real culprit is fear; not just fear of what others think (or what we think others think) but fear of the risk itself. So we place more importance on those others and/or our perception of them.
Fear of others’ opinions is a great cop out.
By way of example, I’m going back to school to get a teaching certificate (as you know). I think I’m crazy. Silly even. And I get concerned about what others must think. Even if they say “Hey, that’s cool! Go for it!” I still think that they think I must be a fool. But so what???!!! Go for it in spite of the fear! Because if I listen to them (or my imaginings) I’ll never do it. Cop out!
Problem is is that I never used to say “But so what???!!! And therefore didn’t take the risk. Till now.
I’m serious when I say ur a role model for others to follow. Love your phrase “I still think that they think!”
Thanks Randy!
Why on earth would any sane thinking individual who has managed to avoid the cult of tattoos till later in life even dream of doing so in older age? Painful (been informed so by various people who later regretted having them done) unsightly blemishes on the beautiful skin that God blessed us with. Anyway who cares what anyone thinks about anything? What others think isn’t the issue it’s the sheer stupidity of getting older and somehow trying to remain 21 that is so ridiculous. Not to mention of course Leviticus 19.28 You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord. Good day. Sidney McFly.
Hi Sidney. Do you also abide by Leviticus 19:26-27 which forbids eating a rare steak and getting the sides of your hair cut? Just curious.
Of course I’m no longer bound by the livictical laws because Jesus fulfilled the law. And no one is bound by the the verse I posted above either. But rational tells us that although we are free from the law, the ten commandments are a guide line for life today. So although Jesus frees us by grace from the law, the law itself is still a guide. If God looked on tattoos with that kind of distain in the OT it’s my guess He hasn’t changed His view on tattoos. The main issue I was trying to put over was the stupidity of maiming ones self perhaps permanently (unless one wants to part substantially with more money and suffer more pain by having their mistakes removed with lazer) when a nicely looked after skin is much more beautiful. I know one guy went out and had a tattoo put on his hand. Instantly regretted it and paid to have it removed by lazer. Said it was extremely painful. I personally wouldn’t influence anyone to maim their body in this manner,and it’s not because I care what others think. But that’s just me. Be well. Sidney.
Rationale *
Sidney, thanks for your thoughtful reply. Just one more comment from me. When you say, “If God looked on tattoos with that kind of distain in the OT it’s my guess He hasn’t changed His view on tattoos.” then you must also apply this to not getting a haircut or eating meat with blood in it. I’m curious how you respond to that? I wish you the best!
Randy I thought in between the lines above I did reply. IE that we are not bound by the law. So if we aren’t bound by the law then I guess that haircuts and rare steaks are permissable. But I also believe that God in His wisdom has His reasons for telling us what He believes is right. But the overriding issue here is not livictical law. The overriding issue I’m concerned with is not whether a tattoo is permissable or not. The core issue is that a tattoo is not a steak or a haircut. A tattoo is permanent (or not, if you are prepared for more financial loss and more unnecessary pain). It isn’t something that anyone should be either advising or influencing another to consider. If you or anyone were to be the motivation for someone getting a tattoo or anything else that someone might regret in the future then in my opinion that is a very irresponsible influence. These are my opinions as are my opinions that tattoos are unsightly unnecessary and the time and money involved in obtaining one could be better put to another use. Purely my opinion you understand. Again be well. Sid.
Sid. Thanks for attempting to clarify my understanding. I respect your opinion. BTW, at least I waited to get a tattoo until I was 50 to make sure I didn’t get something stupid which I would later regret. Thanks for the conversation! Take care.
I also got a tattoo when I turned 50. That was seventeen years ago. For me, it was a deliciously daring way to mark my entry into older middle age. No regrets here!
P.S. How did Garry get his photo to show with his response?
There is a standard website where you can upload your picture and basic information for those times when you make comments on websites. It’s a free service called called Gravatar. You can read about it HERE.
Thank you! I’ll check out Gravatar.