Not long ago I had two brief conversations about the LGBTQ+ community. Both disturbed me deeply. These conversations wouldn’t have troubled me a couple of years ago. But I’ve changed my mind.
Here’s a question from the first conversation. “How many LGBTQ+ people do you personally know?” As a straight person that question stopped me in my tracks. My brain fired back, “Lots of them!” But then I tried to name the LGBTQ+ people in my life. By that I mean people I could call on the phone and they recognize my name when they answer the phone. The brevity of the list shocked me. (What is YOUR answer to the question?) I counted less than five. Five. I feel a void in my life.
The second conversation focused on the stand of the Church of the Nazarene in which I’m ordained. Ready for this? After hearing the next sentence I found it difficult to sleep at night. “In the Church of the Nazarene, we reject the gay community with open arms.” Ouch. If this makes no sense it’s because you are unaware of the church’s stand. We Nazarenes believe being a homosexual is not a deal breaker as long as there’s abstinence. Of course, many in the church do not even go along with the official position of their church. They believe it’s a sin to have sexual attraction to a member of the same sex. Yes, in the Nazarene world “we reject you with open arms.”
After careful study and prayer I no longer reject the LGBTQ+. I’m becoming an advocate for them and those struggling with gender issues. I embrace them, as I embrace all people, without reservation.
To my bewildered Christian friends, I know your reaction is one of disappointment. You will add me to your prayer list. You are angry. You are confused. You know I’m on my way to hell. I’m OK with you telling me how wrong I am. But if you comment to this article do so in love.
To my readers who are part of the LGBTQ+ community I ask forgiveness. Forgive me for the years I embraced the traditional party line about homosexuality. Forgive me for being silent when I should’ve been vocal. Forgive my insensitivity. Forgive my lack of love. I would like to hear from you. Feel free to send my a private message. And if you are a Nazarene struggling with homosexuality and need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me. And if you are a parent struggling with accepting the coming out of your child or grandchild, I’m here for you.
In the future I plan to write a few articles explaining why I changed my mind. The goal is not to provide a defense of my position but to hope you might take the journey with me. Yes, I’m a dreamer!
In a way, I’ve now come out of my own closet. And I’m feeling fine!
As the mom of a child in the lgbtq community, thank you for not telling my child she can’t have Jesus. I appreciate your new stance. And, yes, the church says they welcome everyone but they truly do reject the LGBTQ individual while holding their arms wide open in greeting.
Welcome, my friend. And very well written.
According to Gallup (February 2021), the percentage of people in the US who are LGBT is about 5.6%. So, the fact that you have at least 5 friends/acquaintances who are gay is not really a bad statistic. We have had a very good friend relationship for 30+ years with a married lesbian couple, and we are friendly with at least 4 other gay people. My question would be this — how is it different for the church to expect single heterosexual people to remain abstinent, but not the same standard for LGBT people? Not trying to be argumentative — just trying to learn your opinion. Of course, it really does not matter what we think or believe about whether LGBT people can be Christians or not — as long as we treat them with the love of Jesus — because in the end, it will be their own personal relationship with Jesus Christ that matters. We really do not have a say in that, do we? Blessings…
I to was ordained in the Church Of The Nazarene in 1980. The LGBT community should not be rejected by any church, but they like any other person must be transformed by the Blood of Christ which was shed for them. They are human beings just like the rest but need to be saved just like the rest and if not will face the consequences just like the rest. It seems plain to me that this was the very reason God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. It was the righteoues that were rescued before the destruction came
I shall eagerly await your post regarding your change of mind. I’m with you on what you posted here but I fear that you are leaving out some critical information. While marginal communities, including LGBT but not limited to them, have indeed been singled out in the “church” as people unworthy of Jesus, there are still the Biblical injunctions in God’s Word against the practice of engaging in homosexual relationships. Celibacy and abstinence are two valid practices that can help with all sorts of sexual sin.
I don’t believe that the homosexual person should be shunned by the church. But I can’t accept their lifestyle and I don’t think that they should be put into positions of leadership in the church.
I so admire you for having the courage to change your mind and choose love. It is truly inspiring!
Thanks Kelly. I really appreciate your comment!