What is it about you which doesn’t make sense? For me, more often than I want to admit, I’m a loner. I can’t explain it but I have this voice in my head telling me I don’t need people. I can do this on my own. My atitude is “No thanks, I don’t need help or input from you or anyone.”
This attitude almost broke me. Several years ago I navigated through a difficult church split. When people asked how I was doing I’d smile and tell them “just fine” but on the inside my heart bled.
Are there times when you want to be left alone? As I age I find myself getting more and more drawn into the curtain of aloneness. One of the recurring regrets from people looking back on life is the failure to stay connected with friends and family.
But trying to forge through life alone, especially in difficult moments, is a big mistake. Why? There is tremendous power in staying connected with others.
Three weeks ago a large church conference met in California. The speaker, Pastor Ray Johnson of Bayside church, illustrated the power of unity. He pulled out his phone and ordered a pizza. When the solitary pizza arrived, the delivery girl received instructions to give it to Ray as he stood on the platform in front of 3500 people.
Finding out the pizza cost $15.00 Ray handed her a twenty dollar bill and told her to keep the change. She thanked him for the tip. But there’s more to the story. Ray told her he wanted to give her an even bigger tip. He handed her a basket with $3500 in it. How would you have reacted? Ray found out later the girl had to take the rest of the day off to recover!
Where did the $3500 come from? If you are paying attention you’ve figured it out. Ray had challenged each of the 3500 listeners contribute a dollar. One buck. And the result of everyone working together produced the dramatic moment on stage. The power of connectedness is staggering.
Here’s 3500 reasons why you need to stay connected with friends and family: there is tremendous power in unity. Working together the group could easily accomplish what could not be done individually. Each gave a little and the little became a lot.
Think of your life. Where do you struggle?
- Financially?
- Spiritually?
- Physically?
- Emotionally?
Don’t cut yourself off from friends and family. You are hurting yourself if you don’t connect with people who can assist you. Do yourself a favor. When someone asks you “how it’s it going?” stop lying by telling them “great” when it’s not. Don’t start blubbering and slobbering but choose to be open. Even a “I’ve had better days” opens the door for a possible deeper connection.
Once you let people see behind your door of hurt then there’s the possibility of making a connection. You might be surprised to find they too are struggling or hurting.
Does this concept of connecting with others seem like a little thing? If the answer is “yes” then you need to know you are wrong. Very wrong.
There are 3500 reasons why you need to stay connected with others.
What will you do today in an effort to connect?
Keeping connected is very important. While going through breast cancer treatment, I wouldn’t have made it without God, family, awesome pastor and church and friends. Didn’t feel alone through this journey. There were times I felt like crawling in a whole but they didn’t let me.
I think it’s when we really need friends and family that we appreciate connectedness.
Certainly easier said than done on some days……
I also tend to be a loner. Although I’m with people most of the time (church and work stuff) it is very difficult for me to be open. I have tried to do better that I may be able to help others, especially to the class I teach on Sunday. I have believed for a long time now that people are far much more alike than different. The enemy especially like us to think we are weird, and there can be no help for us because we are so weird. Was it Henry David Turough who said: “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation! ” in other words we all have desparte thoughts, temptations, and anxious thinking, while thinking we are the only ones dealing with them, so we say nothing to others, because they might think we are weird, or that we may face rejection. I think by being open we can help far more people than if we say nothing , giving other people the idea we have it all together. That’s one thing I admire about you,Randy. You will reach far more people by your honsety than pretending to have everything altogether.