The older I get the more tempted I am to play it safe. And that goes for my kids and grandkids. I want them to be safe. And my aging brain tells me for them to be safe they need to play it safe.
Do you want your kids and grandkids to play it safe? Are you reluctant to let them to move to a different state? Do you secretly tell God to not call your kids to do anything risky? Are you hanging on to them instead of releasing them?
Last year my son in law Brent got my attention when he told me he was moving his wife (my daughter) and 3 grandkids to live in the ghetto of Detroit. He announced God had called him to move into the same neighborhood where he had sold and used drugs but now the goal was to tell people about Jesus. At the time of his announcement they lived within walking distance of our house. We saw our grandkids almost every day. How would you feel if you got this news? What kind of response would you have given? I’m guessing many parents would need to pop a nitro tablet!
We released Brent and his family to follow their calling. (To be clear: they were going with or without our permission!) They moved into the Detroit ghetto. They are surrounded by abandoned houses. And yet they have discovered how to reach their neighborhood with the Christian message of love and hope. Their 313 Revolution ministry is changing lives.
How do you fully release your kids and grandkids to follow their dreams? How do you let them live dangerous and risky lives? How do you cheer for them to do God’s will when everything inside of you wants to manipulate them to stay close to you?
Here’s 5 quick thoughts on how to release your kids to do God’s will.
First, really believe God has a plan for them and it will be different than His plan for you.
In our formative years God had plans for us. Now He has plans for your kids. And these plans often lead your kids down a different path. I have a friend whose daughter is now an underground missionary in China. And while serving there they had a child. Imagine the sacrifice of my friend and his wife. But they released their daughter to follow God.
Second, remind yourself God is “trustable.”
Do I really need to say it? You can trust God. He knows what He’s doing. He has plans for your kids and grandkids. Who are you to stand in the way of those plans? Release them and cheer them on to victory. God will take care of them.
Third, your kids need to follow the leading of God more than they need to follow your leading.
Don’t even think of trying to manipulate your kids into following your will instead of God’s will. It might be your first reaction but flush that thought out of our mind. You are the parent but God is God. You raised them but God is now going to use them.
Fourth, as a parent of grown children your goal is to help them realize their full potential.
When you try to cling to your grown kids you are stunting their growth. Your fear is natural but it results in unnatural results. Your kids need to cut themselves off of your apron strings and follow God. They can never realize their full potential as long as they are under your wing.
Fifth, when you release them to follow God’s will you are playing a part in their success.
God gave you children so you could raise them up to follow Him. It is time to let them go and allow them to follow the plan God has for them. If they are not released, and they fail to follow God, you have contributed to their spiritual failure. Release them and share in their spiritual victory.
So Brent and family moved into the dangerous Detroit inner city. As a result they are touching and changing lives. I count every one of their victories as one of mine. If you are interested, HERE’S a link to his 313 Detroit Revolution ministry website.
Your grown kids need your support as they follow God. Become their biggest cheerleader. Release them to become all God wants them to be. God has great plans for them.
This is an unusual post for me to write. But I felt strongly some reader needed this reminded. Was it you?
Good and wise words, Randy. I learned from personal experience, like you did. Not only is it the way God intended it, but I found my son is much better off without his old man around. Didn’t make me real happy, but that is the way it is…truth hurts I guess.
Thanks Tim. I think it is hard for parents to let go! Letting go is one of the biggest challenges Love faces.
Powerful. I like number 3. Is it for me? I think it’s for anybody who has kids!
Agreed!
Amen! They are a gift from God. Needed to hear this today. Thanks.
Wow! This is exactly what I have learned over this past year! Thanks for sharing, Randy!
As I sit here in my living room reading your blog and watching your daughter (my daughter-in-law) make one of her infamous apple pies, I am reminded of when her and Brent told us that they were going to move to Detroit. Our initial response was, “Go ahead and ruin your family, but leave our grandkids with us where they will be safe.” Now, a year later, I’ve had the privilege of watching God work in their lives in marvelous ways. And, our “poor” grandchildren are succeeding at school and their spiritual lives as they see the hand of God work every day. Why did we doubt God to know what was best for them? “My ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (God)
You said it far better than I!
Thanks Randy for this article. I have had such a hard time letting go of my daughter. When she moved back to Michigan from California my heart broke. But now I see her growing and becoming her own person. I miss her so much but am so proud of the woman she has become. I’m so proud of Brent and Emily. They have come so far. It’s amazing to see what they are doing for God. I love those two!!
Thanks Darla for your comment! God is at work.